And no, I’m not talking about that creepy blob thing from The Mighty Boosh. I’m talking about the shit kind of funk (yes, there’s such a thing). The one that you get into and feel trapped and blah and totally uninspired.
Well, that’s been me for the last good while. My posting schedule went completely out the window – adios weekly Sunday night uploads and regular writing. I quit ANOTHER course that I started – but at least this time I got in before the census date so my HECS fees are at at a temporary standstill. I’ve been feverishly planning for the future, yet not making any real commitment to these plans (i.e. booking flights or accomodation or even tickets). I guess you could say I’ve been feeling lost… again. Sure, there are some external contributing factors that I know have been bringing me down (boy troubles – ah, they happen to the best of us) but mostly I’ve just been half-assededly searching for a purpose. And by searching I mean sitting on the couch or bed, watching TV shows and feeling like I should be doing something more productive and useful with my 21-year-old life.
But this is normal, right? We’ve all been here. Life just kinda feels like its floating by with plenty of laughs and good times thrown in, but nothing overly significant is happening.
To be honest, I know that I’m just being indecisive and lazy. I’ve got all of these dreams and ideas but I never take any action to pursue them or bring them to life. Sometimes I think that a sea change will fix that – literally moving somewhere to be closer to the sea (hello, Sunshine Coast) but I know that a big move won’t magically solve all of my creative problems.
So here’s a little list that I’ve decided (just this minute) to compose for myself to follow to get the creative juices flowing. Who knows, maybe it will help or inspire one of you if you’re feeling the same way.
- Start writing everyday – even if it’s just utter bullshit in my journal or a poem or a piece of a story. If I’m not going to study to be a better writer (yet) then I need to at least PRACTICE.
- Try to read at least one book a week. This might sound impressive, but I read relatively fast in general, and when I’m engrossed in a story well… I finished Maximum Ride Forever in around 5 hours, so I don’t really have any excuses on that front.
- In addition to reading a book, also regularly buy and read my favourite magazines. At the moment I’m loving Tracks, Frankie and Collective Hub (who in particular has inspired me to get my ass into gear and start doing something productive). If I ever want to work for any of them one day, and I do, then I need to start familiarising myself with their content, writing styles and brand aesthetic.
- Paint more. I only use watercolours to write whatever comes to mind (usually song lyrics or things I want to say to people but don’t know how to) but sitting down on the floor with the fairy lights on and my favourite songs playing and messing around with my total of 3 brushes is one of the most therapeutic activities that I do. Whiiiiiiiicchhhh is why it needs to happen more.
- If I can’t find a job in an area that I like (very, VERY likely in Cairns. There’s hardly anything going, let alone anything half decent and exciting) then look at interning for a company/small business owner. Or I could volunteer at one of the galleries. Anything to get me out there and learning things hands on.
- Start networking. This used to be my biggest fear as until I get to know someone, I’m generally a pretty quiet person. I don’t even try to be, it’s just my brain literally comes up with NOTHING to say. It’s actually quite frustrating, and often leaves me feeling and looking like a fruit loop, so it’s time to get over that fear and start sending out emails and PM’s and getting to know some other creatives around me. Because I’ve found that once you take that leap, even if it just means messaging an old school friend for coffee, you feel heaps more confident about talking to general strangers and new co-workers/potential employers and yes; I’m still shit at job interviews, but at least in the real world I’ll have some cool friends.