Hello, my dear sweet readers!
Firstly, thank you for actually reading this – it means that a) you stayed around despite my month-long hiatus, and b) you’re still interested in what I have to say.
Let me start by saying that December did NOT go to plan. A few days after my last post, our lives had a giant fucking spanner thrown at them. In short, James’ mum got very sick very quickly and passed away. It’s taken me an entire month to be able to write that here. For those few days and weeks, time was suspended, and we operated on a necessities-only basis. I’ve had a lot of words swirling around about the experience, but it’s really not my place to write it here – and to be honest, I don’t even know if I could.
So, as expected, things have been a little chaotic recently, and I spent a good 3 weeks avoiding even writing a sentence. I just couldn’t. Now James and I are both back at work. The house is still a half-unpacked bombsite, and Christmas and New Year’s went by with a lot of driving and good company.
I had planned on doing a 2017 roundup, and I might still, just for my sake, as well as a selection of posts neatly wrapping up the year and plotting for the new one – but clearly, none of THAT happened.
To be honest, the whole hype surrounding the new year no longer interests me. It’s only a new day, after all. I suspect my beliefs are partly a result of being born on New Year’s Day, and feeling exactly the same as I did 12 hours prior to waking up (give or take a hangover). I like the idea of a clean slate and new goals and aspirations, but the whole “new year, new me” thing is a little bullshit if you ask me.
Genuine change takes more than a fancy to do list and some #fitnessgoals on instagram. If there are things about yourself that you genuinely want to change, and habits that you’re desperate to kick, then you should be prepared to put in the hard work and time well past February.
I used to do New Years Resolutions, which then transformed into goals, but this year they impromptuly manifested in the form of a painted list detailing a very loose plan. The ‘plan’ was supposed to be about career-related stuff but soon transpired into things such as ‘dance more’ and ‘don’t take shit from anyone’ and ‘go to local gigs’ and so forth.
I like having reminders up around the house of what I like and what I want. It’s so easy to get squashed under the everyday drabness of bills and the 9-5 grind, so it’s nice to see that on a random night past-Vivienne wrote a list and decided she wanted to learn more about astronomy and wolves.
After the events of last month, I was kind of left to evaluate my life and our lives. What we are supposed to do now, how to handle things, where we can go from here. There’s still so much technical stuff to be sorted, but during my time off work, I was forced to have a good hard think about what the hell I want out of this life. Family now feels more important than ever, but I also am really fucking scared of wasting time, and not taking opportunities/moving away because I want to be close to the ones I love. I’ve always had that guilt where you know you should be somewhere else (hello, child of divorce), but now I have a bigger urge than ever to run and explore.
But enough of that rambling! I am dubbing 2018 the year of self-discovery – not because I don’t know who I am, but because I want to figure out where I want to be. I never set myself any fitness resolutions (because we all know the pressure alone squashes them out) but I am determined to get back into yoga and meditation this year, as well as hopefully taking up a new class, whether that be boxing or pilates or whatever. I’m also really keen to do some pottery workshops, as well as some textile design and screenprinting, so if you know of anyone in Cairns who does that kind of thing, hit me up!
Thank you once again for sticking around, and tuning in this year. It really means a lot.
In terms of blog plans, I have a few little things I would like to accomplish, but mainly I just want to get off my ass and interview some more creatives. I’m aiming to publish one a month, which if all goes according to plan, will give you guys the sweet advice of 12 pros, as well as encouraging me to stop being a little wimp and approach new people! It’s a win-win!
Till next time (soon),