I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately about what I truly enjoy, and what my purpose is in life. Because truth be told – I have no fucking idea!

I hear so much about doing your dharma and finding your purpose and just generally being cosmically aware and on top of things. It sounds amazing, it truly does. I watch/read about certain people and think “YES, that is exactly what they’re supposed to be doing. You can see it in their eyes and in the way they speak. They are so passionate and joyful to be pursuing this path” and then I take a good hard look in the mirror.

Although I am inspired, and definitely find myself getting closer to doing what my soul wants, I’m still miles away from actually taking the steps to pursue it – if that makes sense? 

It seems like everytime I have an ‘aha’ moment, and think I’ve found what I’m destined to do, my heart gradually falls out of love with the idea. Trust me, I’ve got a good $20,000 + university debt to back me up. It appears that it’s what I want, until I actually pull back the curtain on the job/industry and realise it’s not all that everyone says it is. 

Maybe I just quit too easily? Or maybe I’m just not cut out for being a student, because as much as I love learning, it sure is tiresome. I used to see people studying in libraries or working on papers and think they looked so cool and passionate and like they had their shit together, when in reality they had probably left the house for the first time in 4 days and were working on a 12am deadline.

I’ve always seemed to romantise higher education, and that is 100% because of teen TV shows and young adult novels. Every bloody character seems to be looking at colleges or studying for exams, and there’s always the one annoying character who is completely confident about their 10 year plan. I’d like to say I once had one of those, but that’d be a joke. The extent of my planning is wanting to move to Melbourne by the time I’m 25, and to own a house at some point thereafter. And ya know, jetset off to Europe and New York in between.

We went through school thinking that university would have the answers. That we would flip through a catalogue, point to a degree, and 3 years later we’d be graduated with all of our problems solved. I remember sometime in grade 11 when I was at the school dentist and we had one of those rare moments before they wrench open your mouth where we got to chat. We were talking life after school (standard) and I must’ve confessed that I was torn between professions. Then she gave me an incredible yet realistic piece of advice: she was in her 30s and had moved throughout 3 separate careers, so if she could do it then I definitely could. 

It was such a simple concept but one that gave me ease. Okay, so I could do it all – now I just had to decide what to do first. 

Fast forward to now — and I am more fucking confused than ever. I know what I enjoy doing, but how do I make money out of it? For instance, I love writing for this blog, and writing in general. I’d love to make blogging/writing a full time thing, but how does one do that without being a fashion or beauty blogger? How can I sell you a product without getting a photographer on board, as well as lighting equipment and some cute flatlay backgrounds (not to mention a well lit apartment – because mine currently sucks in that department)? Or is that just all part of the job? Invest in gear, to be invested in by others – that kind of thing?

As you may know, I’m also currently studying graphic design, but I am quickly learning that taking in all kinds of clients isn’t exactly easy or rewarding. How can I be an independent business that attracts collaborations and clients who can appreciate my work?

I’m sure there are books out there with the answers I seek. There’s probably blogs, even. But right now I just need a sign. Tell me universe, what should my next move be? How will I know when it’s time to dive into the freelance world, and become a multi-hypened milennial? 

I’m not interested in building an empire, but I do want to grow a collective, and collaborate with all of the rad individuals that are only a message away. I think it’s time to do some serious goal writing, and work out what the hell to do next. I’m still young, I know that, but I feel like I’ve wasted so much time ‘career’ (ugh, I hate that word) wise already, so I want to get on the right path. And soon would be great.

If you have any books/blogs/articles/podcasts you can recommend on this kind of thing, that would be AMAZING. I surround myself with a lot of good content, but sometimes you need a fresh recommendation or perspective to do the trick.

Some of the publications/people that I love are:

Digital

Smack Bang Designs

Start Up Creative

By Lucinda

Lisa Messanger

Emma Gannon

Cartia Mallan

Julia George

Rochelle Fox & Chris Soll

 

Print

Collective Hub magazine

Money and Mindfulness – Lisa Messanger

The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin

Frankie magazine

Material Girl, Mystical World by Ruby Warrington

Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert

 

If nothing else, I hope you like some of my recommendations. And don’t worry – we’ve got this! 

– It just may take a little time <3

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November 6, 2017

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